is that.... the intreneat? omg it is! HAI! its me jojoko. yeah i know, its been a while. me? well alot has happened, but not much has changed. well i got a job. uh huh. its full time. yeah i work in an office. i feel like a grown up. and there is this guy russ that looks like david brent from the office uk. no, he just looks as if ricky gervais lost weight. other than that he's just a boss. oh i answer phones. yeah pretty easy. plenty of downtown time. yep got a badge and everything. i know! tell me about it. (awkward lol) well my life coach told me about it. you're right that does sound made up. but i got one to get me back on track after i left school. i spent too much time doing nothing and just being depressed. yeah at one point i even wanted to move back in with my parents! thank god i didn't! that would've been a mistake! i mean who wants to live with their parents again? well that's you. i would be embarrassed to tell people. but i do want to be close to them. its hard being far away from family. well i stayed just because i didn't know what else to do. and it doesn't hurt i've got friends here too. but to be honest, certain things can weed out the true friends from the fake ones. well some people were worried about me. because i was isolating myself again. dunno why. i just do it when i get depressed. yeah it was hard to find a job, especially when you expect them to come to you! but i'm more or less happy now in this new job. i say that because i feel a bit trapped. just because i've never had a full time job before. and i find it hard to quit jobs. i've never really quit a job before. when i worked at tarjay i just didn't show up and they fired me of course. and then when i worked at jamba i sorta did the same thing but pretended like they were supposed to know that i quit. anyways i want to eventually go back to the bay area. but i've thought about pdx too. just because they are metrosexual... like me... i'm gay. hehe. yeah that was weird. but how are you supposed to come out to people? its always going to be awkward. oh to just about anybody who asks now-a-days! why can't i just be honest? my mom asked. and i told her. oh yeah they both are fine with it, but we don't talk abou tit. just because its weird to talk about. i usually live on awkwardness! for instance i ate ours up! its so lip smackety! but when its about that subject, i just can't. i mean who wants to explain sex & sexuality to their parents? true. true. yeah i sort of use that to get closer to people. kind of kick a friendship in the butt. nope nothing negative yet. i'm surprised that the people that i thought would know didn't; and the people that didn't even know what gaydar is, knew before me! no, i'm not even looking for one. i don't think i want one now. well i'm not 21 yet so theres not much to do here. and i'm still in between paychecks. so yeah. at the end of the month actually. nope no big pans. i just don't drink much. and when you legally can, its not such a big deal anymore when you've been doing it for years. yeah my cousin went to vegas for his birthday too. no, i'll be good. spend it with my friends. probably gonna be a relatively quiet night. that's how i like it. well, thanks. oh sure i'll definitly see you before then. ok, bye.
my sleep patterns are getting worse. its going to be more and more difficult to reverse this. perhaps i'm turning into a vampire just like marc wootton did....
all signs point to depression. but this is unlike any other depresssion i've experiencd yet. i don't feel sad, i have normal mood parameters. by that i mean i go through the normal span of emotions in a given day. i just don't go out and exercise. i should try doing that before i explore my other options which are: psychotherapist or scientology.
i've got big plans for this blog internet! and ideas for some of my other voices in this head. check back for a big announcement!
i've been having this weird sleep schedule ever since i moved out at the beginning of this year. i don't have a job at the moment so i have no reason to wake up early. which means i have no reason to go to bed early. which i was fine with until today (or should i say yesterday?) when i didn't even wake up until 4 in the afternoon. and didn't even bother getting out of bed and doing anything until 5 pm. so now, i'm feeling disgusted with myself and set my alarm to 9 in the am. but its already 6:30 as i'm writing this. its hopeless.
anyways, i have this ritual to get to sleep. i have to listen to npr, or as they call it here in oregon opb to get to sleep. i think i like the talk radio to get to sleep. i know my parents listen to kgo (sings the jingle "newstalk 810") when they go to bed. i copied that for a while, then i switched to npr because: 1. its more liberal but not in a liberal talk show host kind of way. more in a liberal arts sort of way. and b) because i can also get the news without the traffic reports every ten minutes on the 8's.
however tonight i was listening to my favorite podcast, the dawn and drew show. i was listening to them last night but unfortunately i fell asleep and didn't hear the end. i'd like to say though, that just because i fell asleep doesn't not mean i don't enjoy the dawn & the drew or the n p r. it is in no way a reflection on either broadcaster. just because i listen to them before i sleep does not mean they are boring. ... skip to the good stuff jojo. so the point i'm getting to is that (i have a.d.d. so you'll have to forgive the tangents) i can't remember. i had two really good dreams last night (one involving janeane garofalo and a tandem bike) that i just can't remember.
maybe i will use this blog for that kind of nonsensical bullshit. i don't even really know who my target audience is for this blog. i'm not really sure if i want to give this address to my friends, and if i do, will they even read it? or willl they just skip over it like i do their (sometimes) petty myspace blog entries. i certainly don't want this place to turn into anything that resembles a myspace or xanga blog. i'm no emo.
i do want to use it for my own purposes though, that you might not even understand. maybe you'll find it interesting if i post random lists like "music i intend to download when i can find it on the nearest torrent site" or "british tv shows i wish they would remake for america but not dumbed down for the american audience". (yes i know mrs. herich told you to put punctuation inside the quotes but i'm a rebel!)
now i've lost my train of thought. but i haven't slept and wasn't that why i named this post insomnesia? [have i used to many of these "()" sorry i can't remember what their called but i know this is inside brackets]
this is my first blog. well, actually that's a lie. i've actually attempted this several times but never updated it regularly. i've actually been inspired by a book this time. its a book of compiled blog posts. well there are several actually in my book backlog that fit this description actually, but that's a topic for another day. and infact could inspire a sister blog at a later date. for now, i'm gonna try to keep on top of things and write for this one. but first i'm gonna try to sleep. if you could read the time that i posted this you might figure out why.
in the words of the classiest of all whores, dawn miceli: "good night inkernet!"